Thursday, July 31, 2008

Cheryl Cr@w will never be the same!

If you read Mon's chocolate milk and Rolos story...this is the second half, unless she's feverishly blogging and beats me to the punch. And yes, this is about jr. high mentality, but we were poor, frazzled college kids in need of cheap entertainment so bear with me if you dare.

One night, not long after the above-mentioned fiasco in her car, we were probably supposed to be studying for an exam, when the Sheryl Cr@w song All I Wanna Do came on the radio. New lyrics to that tune instantly came flowing out of my brain. I don't know where from because I've been searching for them for weeks now after prodding from Mon to blog about it. Eternally lost in the gray matter-I cannot find them. Anyway, as this song started to play, I was lying on the floor, books around me, trying to study, working on a Rolo and Mon had on a pair of Santa Christmas boxers (we were poor, tired and busy- no time for laundry- the boxers were new=clean) that I'd picked out for the soon-to-be Mr. FixIt and the lyrics spewed out recapping the previous night of near choking to death. They went something like this (not in order, just parts that seem possible after digging through 14 or so years of gray matter and cobwebs):

All I wanna do is not die on this chocolate milk
Just sit here, enjoy and have a snack

We are swigin' choc milk at 7 on Wednesday
In a big purple Grand Am somewhere in Zanesville
All I''m gonna do, is choke on milk...I gotta feeling, this stuff is comin' up.
All I'm gonna do, is gag on this.. I cant help it, I'm not the only one.
Oh yea I'm gonna shoot, this out my nose-
Oh no here comes my Rolo-Be-cause Mon-i-ca just sucked a chunk down her lungs


You get the idea? I hope because that is awful.
It's beyond cheesy and really stupid but for some reason it just spilled out and it was hysterical! We were snorting and laughing our asses off until Mon ripped a toot and we laughed harder. Tears came, and in the midst of literally rolling on the floor in hysterics and from sheer force of laughter she let go of another one promptly grabbing her own a$$, which if you remember was in my honey's brand new Santa shorts, and hauled butt to the bathroom!! Grandma is hollering from the other end of the house, "You girls ok in there??" I've never cried so hard from laughing in my life!

So from then on:
* That song became known as the Chocolate Milk Puke Song
*My grandmother was CERTAIN we had fallen off the deep end
*We could never eat least not together because of choking hazard
*Mr. FixIt never would wear those Santa boxers. We did wash them...a lot. He still won't.


  1. SPEW! ROFL! LMAO!! Wiping java off my puter screen as I type! Should be setting up garage sale, but Mr. Wonderful has left for work, it's raining, and quite frankly I don't wanna do it. Waiting for rain to pass, then I'll half-ass "try". :-)

  2. Oh Lord...

    Yeah, cheesy but aren't those the most fun times! :)


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