Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Starting over

Well, it's done. Mr. FixIt moved out this past weekend fulfilling the decision we made months ago that 'we' were over.  Have been over for a long time, despite continuing to TRY to trust and love- it just wasn't how it should be or maybe could have been, who knows? Maybe not? Maybe truly was never meant to be as this problem between us has been ongoing for so many years.  Many things I wish I'd done differently over all that time, but I have to look to the future, be thankful for my kids, thank the stubborn family genes and determination for not letting me give up easily and take the whole thing as a learning experience.   So that's that. It will be a few months before it's official, but in my heart it's been done for a loooong time- scary to admit that now. 
  The kids had a rough weekend with all of it even though they have also known about this for over a month.   I think taking the kids to visit family Friday and Saturday helped (while he did some packing/moving). The yearly dance Christmas party helped to take their mind off the situation Sunday afternoon, though both kids sobbed the whole way there.  Breaks your heart to look at them so upset, mostly because they don't really understand. They know their dad and I have had differences, but to them, he's just gone- it doesn't matter why.  Ugh.  Sunday night we watched a movie with some popcorn, piled on the couch together.  Popcorn makes everything better :-D One day they will realize this was best- that mom shouldn't be a zombie from worry & lack of sleep, or feeling like she's lost and being only a small part of the whole person she can be. They deserve better than that- so do I.  Finally learning that...took me long enough!! ;-)

Hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for Christmas!   Oddly enough, in the middle of a potential stressful situation I've had a couple of great weeks- best I've had in years!  I believe it's only going to get better from here... :-D

Love y'all,

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Holiday Comedy

I have to say I look forward to Elf Yourself every year- cracks me up!! Even the same dances... the kids and I end up in fits of giggles watching!!

I'm doing one with the dogs & cats next.... hehehe

Monday, December 6, 2010

What a week!

Is it possible to have the worst possible day(s) and the best possible days in the same week?? I do believe I've experienced it!   More details later, but I am feeling human again!  My house is still a long way from how I prefer it, but it's definitely improving from the what had become the  'norm' of the past 10-18 months.  Ack. 

The snow is coming down and temps are frigid, but that isn't even bothering me as much. Kids have played in the snow between lessons, in the early stages of snowball forts,  and the dogs are running around chasing, diving in the little snow we have thus far,  having as much fun as the kids.  One week to our dance studio Christmas party/show and I think I'm finally starting to feel like Christmas!! Woohoo!!

Some of the errands on today's agenda- finish packing 1700+ Box Tops that Mr. F helped me bundle Saturday evening, getting another round of laundry done, work on a few bills, get another pile of the Pit sorted/thrown out, and hopefully get a few things listed on eBay.  First duty is to go cuss at the elliptical for  awhile... oh joy!!

I know Mondays can seriously suck, but hope yours has started a nicely as mine did. :-D

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

It's OK Tuesday!

Thanks Whispering Writer for this idea!

*Yes, I realize it is now Wednesday- I crashed yesterday before I could finish.

It's TUESDAY, which means IT's OK...

That I like the feeling of seeing the light at the end of that dark tunnel. I've had a crappy couple of months...or well years. It's time I had some SUNSHINE!!

That I've barely made a dent getting this house back in order over the last few days. Have to remind myself that the dent is progress and as long as my motivation sticks, it will improve steadily!!

I DETEST Justin Bieber!! I saw a snippet of an interview/show with him this morning- whipping his hair around worse than a girl. Who does he think he is- Elvis?? NOT HARDLY.  He needs scissors and manners PRONTO.

That my baby is growing up, and it makes me sad. He was a very demanding baby, but I miss my sweat-stink chunky monkey legs little guy.

That I've felt awesome over the past two days, even with the mess my life is in!!  And THAT's MORE than OK!!