Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wednesy Wackday

That's exactly how the day started and screwed up as a football bat.   Started it ticked off,  ended it crying.  Not one of my finest.  Somewhere in the middle I managed to make coffee early and fell back asleep until it was off and cold, forgot to make two phone calls I should have for the past three days,  realized I hadn't even set foot in the laundry room for two days and still as I type this hadn't been in there yet,  YELLed at Monster Man and in total toddler fashion threw a fit- two counting blocks across a room to which he said 'That was AWESOME!" so I sent him to his room while I locked myself in a dark bathroom fighting to not flush my own head down the toilet,  I totally forgot to pay a bill and mother TRUCKER I am renewing that dang library book RIGHT NOW.....
Ok, done.  I should have purchased the library children's wing as it would probably have been cheaper!!  

Not to be outdone, Mother Nature is giving it both barrels today with high winds, dropping temps and blowing snow. Lovely. Thankfully she's dished out over a foot on my sister in NY instead of here- thank GOD for small favors! Hehe Love ya, J.

Mr. FixIt and I seem to be back to 'don't ask, don't tell' regarding what's bothering me or when things come up that we SHOULD be talking about.  Hence the crying end to this crappy day.  Having some after-kids-go-to-bed  ah hem ...exercise when emotion overtook me and all I could do was heaving sobs with 'who else?' and 'did the others get this?' running through my head. I mean seriously. Did they entertained by a get-er-done short version, some wham-bam thank ya ma'am quickie or did they get what I get? My time and attention?  How much of what is OURS has he given to others??? Then I got pissed off.  Then back to trying NOT to cry.   Did I say anything, did any of these questions dive from my brain and out my mouth??  Heck no, of course not!  Totally clammed up. Did he ask what was bothering me??  Nope. He did say he was sorry for making me cry. And what did I respond... "No, it's ok." Whiskey Tango Foxtrot....WAKE up DIPSHIT and SPILL IT!!  Nope. Nada. Zilch.  End of conversation. T minus 45 seconds to commence male snoring....................................................................................
annnnnd he's out.  And I'm down here slugging on my poor Macbook what my vocal cords could not formulate in person.  AAARRGGHHH!! Frustrating!

Maybe I need my meds adjusted or something. Looking back I am seriously swinging from pathetic cryer to outright wench, even with the kids Especially Monster Man. My patience has grown so thin with that boy and his school work. I have to keep taking a breath and reminding myself that being my kid is making lessons more difficult a task than being someone else's kid. Then try to think of strategy #458 to keep him focused and progressing in school work and game plan #7762 for his behavior.  I think God's sense of humor has become severely twisted.

With Mr. FixIt, sap mode to evil wench mode seems to flip flop at record speeds. Last week, he came home from hunting with B early (I just felt deflated and wanted to cry though I was proud of my girl for her first gun hunt) because they were the only two left to hunt and he said, "I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to spend some time I have off with you too!"           Really?? Didn't want to be alone, did you??  How about the days, mornings, nights I was alone while you were out screwing some chick?? Hmmm?? What about our quality time that is forever lost because you stayed at work long hours to hump the office whore??   As usual, none of those thoughts came out vocally,  just in my head. The broken record of self-torture when I think he fully deserves to hear all that, yet I have a hard time saying so.   Why??  Would someone please explain that to me??  It makes absolutely not a lick of sense. 

Maybe tomorrow will be better! :-D I shouldn't gripe because it could be a LOT worse. In a hundred ways worse.   To give tomorrow a decent shot I need sleep, so I'm off.  Thanks for the ears, eyeballs.  :-D