Wednesday, April 8, 2009

When? Why??

I can't win. Try to be educated and inform, I'm a bitch. Try to be compassionate and give heads up, I'm 'making things up.' Try to give advice I'm a horrible parent and not worthy of passing on my experience.
I am NOT PERFECT AND WILL NEVER BE, I am my own WORST CRITIC AND know my faults.
When is it my turn to be right or worth a shit? I don't get it.

When does my opinion get to be "better"? I never give advice without being asked. I always try to be positive. I am not a hurtful person.

According to one, one that really does count, I make things up, think I am perfect, and am a horrible mother. I'm far from being a role model mother- the genes to yell and scream are deep within and I fight that everyday and don't always win that battle. My kids know this. They've never heard me yell without shortly after hearing apology or explanation. They also know they will NOT be raised as spoiled brats and they are NOT in charge. In fact in being upset over this very matter one just said to me, "but momma you don't want us to grow up bad and mean. You do that for us to be good."

I have been accused of not standing up for what I feel. I have been told to 'grow a backbone' Well my backbone has been starting to emerge, and I've been repeatedly criticized and called on for trying to show it. I'm wrong, no matter the issue. My opinion can be voiced, but cannot be believed. There is only one opinion that matters.

Damned if I do and damned if I don't. I won't ever be right or worthy. Why do those we love the most throw the sharpest daggers??


  1. WHOA! WTF is going on? You must call me soon!! You need your therapist...I'm here 24/7 now!! You've listened to all my shit and given me advice, I haven't had any problems...I'm here for you!

  2. I do charge a small fee You don't mind scrubbing shitters while you talk do you? :) Love ya!


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