Some days

Some days just stink. Yesterday evening was the pretty rank...nasty.  Started off fairly productive- Mr. FixIt put new rotors and brakes on his car- which pretty much ensures I'll fling myself through the windshield next time I drive it.  Then he worked on the mountain of leaves around the yard while I cleaned up the kitchen, and finally washed the downstairs windows...who KNEW sun existed outside!! Holy cow those windows were horrible!! Now hopefully sometime this week I'll wash/swap curtains. I knocked down a few slopes of Mt. WashMore in between chorse. Having been sick the prior week I'd completely neglected laundry...and it showed, ACK!  Mr. FixIt getting ready to head out of town and Monster Man on the hunt for clean underwear had me down to the wire on clean laundry. RED ALERT laundry stage stresses me out, but I was just too sick last week to move, let alone drag myself to the dungeon and lug baskets back up.  Oh, can't forget, I even worked on my coupons yesterday morning, getting all the new ones cut out, nicely stacked according to type, cleaning the old flyers out of my binder with new ones ready to insert.  Cool! Color me a happy camper!

   Since I was caught up a bit on housework and no longer hacking my head off quite so severely, I figured I'd get on the elliptical for a bit. Lord knows I hadn't been on it for a week- sneaking Halloween candy before the sinus/allergies hit didn't do me much good either.  One thing that helps me stick to working out is my tunes!  On my phone I use Pandora radio with stations for Pink, Christina, and misc dance music that keep me moving.  Once in a while I have to 'thumbs down' a slow song, but not often-  the majority of songs are great for pacing a workout.  Except yesterday.  No idea WTH was going on with Pandora but every flippin' song was heart break or lost love or cheating...  Hey Pandora,  sobbing like an idiot doesn't do much for my workout, so spare me the deep emotional mushy stuff!!!  Thirty minutes and 40 kleenex later,  I'm back to hacking up layers of my esophagus, plus my head is pounding. Great.  So I get cleaned up to get ready for dinner. Mr. FixIt tries to make me feel better... for a bit. Then I'm back to sobbing again, recent events and the end of this marriage as I always thought it was supposed to be filling my head.  Told him I didn't know if I want this to be over. As much as I still don't understand how/why regarding the cheating... He puts up a strong face to not seem bothered- no emotion. Hugs me and blames himself out loud, but nothing more. Seemed almost chipper. And I'm a total blob on the floor?? What gives?? Maybe all these years of hanging in there, giving him the benefit of the doubt and second/third/ fourth chances...he REALLY didn't deserve those. Maybe he always has wanted 'out' -who knows?   I guess loving someone so much it physically hurts doesn't mean much if they DON'T love you back in the same way.   Now my head was REALLY throbbing.  Life sucks.  

I made it through dinner that Mr. FixIt made (yummy ribs were AWESOME) but shortly after...that horrid pain behind the eyes started to settle in and light made me cringe.  Just what I need- a migraine! Oh joy!!  Tried to keep up on a bit of the football games was painful.  Then Dad called- if you know my dad, he's horribly L O U D on the phone, worse than in person.  It was true torture to talk to him for 8 minutes. Mr. F could tell I was in serious pain, he brought me a pain pill and muscle relaxer while I was on the phone.  Then I realized I hadn't taken my depression medicine- oh crap! I don't think I took it Saturday either. No wonder I'm like a pathetic basket case!  Ugh. What a LOVELY evening!

Today has been a slight better- no crying thank goodness, but head still pounding. I went back to bed for a while this morning which helped a bit. After being up a while and taking some medicine it subsided just to the verge of a dull throb. Second nap seemed to be working until some nitwit decided to bang on my door and ring the bell about 4 times.  Ugh.  Dogs barking, bell ringing. Loud & painful. That really helped.  Since I was 'awake' I drank another round of water just in case dehydration had a part in this throbbing head, then cleaned the kitchen and restarted Monster Man on lessons.  Dinner will have to be something quick and easy tonight...or maybe I can talk B into cooking. :-D  I'll figure something out, always do I guess. Just wish I could figure out life as easily as dinner.  I'll probably never really understand the last couple decades, but if someone could give me a clue about the next few, I'd appreciate it!  It HAS to get better!!