Cheryl Cr@w will never be the same!

If you read Mon's chocolate milk and Rolos story...this is the second half, unless she's feverishly blogging and beats me to the punch. And yes, this is about jr. high mentality, but we were poor, frazzled college kids in need of cheap entertainment so bear with me if you dare.

One night, not long after the above-mentioned fiasco in her car, we were probably supposed to be studying for an exam, when the Sheryl Cr@w song All I Wanna Do came on the radio. New lyrics to that tune instantly came flowing out of my brain. I don't know where from because I've been searching for them for weeks now after prodding from Mon to blog about it. Eternally lost in the gray matter-I cannot find them. Anyway, as this song started to play, I was lying on the floor, books around me, trying to study, working on a Rolo and Mon had on a pair of Santa Christmas boxers (we were poor, tired and busy- no time for laundry- the boxers were new=clean) that I'd picked out for the soon-to-be Mr. FixIt and the lyrics spewed out recapping the previous night of near choking to death. They went something like this (not in order, just parts that seem possible after digging through 14 or so years of gray matter and cobwebs):


All I wanna do is not die on this chocolate milk
Just sit here, enjoy and have a snack
....

We are swigin' choc milk at 7 on Wednesday
In a big purple Grand Am somewhere in Zanesville
-----
All I''m gonna do, is choke on milk...I gotta feeling, this stuff is comin' up.
All I'm gonna do, is gag on this.. I cant help it, I'm not the only one.
Oh yea I'm gonna shoot, this out my nose-
Oh no here comes my Rolo-Be-cause Mon-i-ca just sucked a chunk down her lungs



*******

You get the idea? I hope because that is awful.
It's beyond cheesy and really stupid but for some reason it just spilled out and it was hysterical! We were snorting and laughing our asses off until Mon ripped a toot and we laughed harder. Tears came, and in the midst of literally rolling on the floor in hysterics and from sheer force of laughter she let go of another one promptly grabbing her own a$$, which if you remember was in my honey's brand new Santa shorts, and hauled butt to the bathroom!! Grandma is hollering from the other end of the house, "You girls ok in there??" I've never cried so hard from laughing in my life!

So from then on:
* That song became known as the Chocolate Milk Puke Song
*My grandmother was CERTAIN we had fallen off the deep end
*We could never eat Rolos...at least not together because of choking hazard
*Mr. FixIt never would wear those Santa boxers. We did wash them...a lot. He still won't.

Peek into the Monique mind

Wow what a day! Trying to catch up with all the bloggy friends and read so many blogs I think my eyeballs will shrivel in my sleep later!! Though the last one I read revived me a bit. OH MAN! Near fell out of my chair! I will have to one-up the chocolate and Rolos fiasco with another chocolate milk incident involving the (at the time) soon-to-be Mr. FixIt's Santa boxers, but for right now go enjoy the above tale from Monica's point of view.

She did neglect to mention naked trolls and climbing in windows at 4 am, but those fun times are blog fodder for another day! :-D

For a clue into the chocolate milk and Santa boxers story...Mr. FixIt never did wear those boxers after he found out what we did to them...

Five-year-old boy

Can you believe this little turkey in the high chair....

is now FIVE??

Hold up, now. He was an every-two-hour nursing, mustard poop-through-the- diaper-leg four times a day squirming specimen just a few weeks ago wasn't he??


When did he start talking in full sentences and asking questions about everything he sees, hears, smells?? Including the poor elderly woman in the check out in front of us who "I think this lady needs her pants checked momma!" I prayed the poor woman was seriously hard of hearing.





When did he start thinking "underpants" is the most hysterical word on the planet? Jeesh!










Where is the boy who was adamant for almost an entire year to be "Super Larry Boy" not Superman... super Larry Boy...??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my little guy!

But it doesn't stop there.

No birthday is complete without a trip to Chuck E Cheese Hell.

Sorry the pic is dark of Monster Man in the Chuck E car. I didn't fuss with photo tricks to fix it. You're lucky I got out of there alive to even post.

Hamburger anyone?

Through college, my best friend Mon and I made daily jaunts between work, class, home and back again, and occasionally we would stop to get Micky D's Happy Meals...yes, because college kids with little to no financial assistance who work full-time jobs while carrying full class loads are dirt poor and that's when Happy Meals were still under $2. Anywhoo...cruising along in the Blue Bug, as her powder blue Escort was called, I usually rode shotgun which meant I dispensed food, beverage, chocolate, Tums, and tissues as well as the occasional scream in fear of my life or to warn pedestrians to run to the next county!

On one of these trips for a quick late lunch, we pulled out of the drive-thru and I passed her fries to her first (which is bizarre-Mr. FixIt wants his fries first too. They are somehow twins in former life) then unwrapped her burger and handed to her. We went about our way, I drank my drink, and we made our stops. We ended up at my grandma's house where I (we at times) had been living for most of our college lives. Day went on and evening came, we started to head out again. I was feeling a bit hungry, but too busy to really do anything about it. We had classwork, homework, projects, teaching assignments to make up and 5 million other things per day to do such as coloring our hair using screw drivers. Don't ask.

Because we were usually so busy, I don't remember the exact details of what happened next, but I believe we were leaving my grandma's for an evening class, it wasn't quite dark yet, jump back in the Blue Bug and "My brake won't go down." "Mother(*&#$@#$%@@# my park brake WON'T $@*(?*&?@#$ go down!!" We were both perplexed. She pulled it up just fine earlier and on our rounds, when leaving had no problem releasing it to the down position. "It feels mushy....do you smell THAT??" --Um no, but I'm a little hungry. She gets it down with a mash and off we go. When we return later, now dark, "There's something IN there!" as she pulls the brake up to set it. "What the....Oh my god!! Where did this come from??" as she pulled up part of a hamburger, slightly mangled. I replied, "I dunno. It's not mine!"
"You sure?!"
"Yeah! It's not mine!"
"Well it's not MINE!"
"I ate my sandwich. I know I did! I had to!"
"Where'd this come from then, you handed mine to me. I know I ATE mine!"
"Well, it's NOT mine either!"

By now we are both giggling hysterically in the car, in the driveway in the dark, having drug out a flashlight and tongs from the house to dig the remnants of smushed bun and burger with splashes of ketchup out of the park brake. I was really thinking, "I did eat my hamburger, didn't I? I mean, I think I did!" Then I remembered being hungry before we'd left the house the last time. Oh sh!t.
More giggling and swearing, things along the lines of "You dumbass! You ruined my park brake. My car's gonna stink!"

Apparently I had pulled my burger out between getting her fries and her burger to hand over. I must have set it down on my lap and a couple of crazy curves later, it was gone from my lap and, in such a rush with things to do, forgotten. Though I must have had a good bit of my soda to fill me up because I really did think I had eaten lunch.

Poor Blue Bug did always have a touch of a musty grilled odor after that. She sold it not long afterwards.

*edited to add link to Mon--whoops, forgot that :-D

Ahoy matey!

Another birthday celebration is in the books, along with a great day at the lake, some tasty cookin' on the grill, fresh veggies and some zesty ranch dip, and two very worn out, water-logged kids! Mr. FixIt's dad, wife and two of the grandkids came up with them to visit and share our day. My sister M came up with her son to join us. The cousins all had a great time in the sand and sun with intermittent breaks for hot dogs and hamburgers and of course a Thomas Train cake.

Now we are all in the den, watching a race and while listening to Tyler play with his new pirate ship, singing pirate sounding songs describing what the little shipmates are doing all over the new ship... these are the moments you wish you got off your arse and grabbed a camcorder.

Oh well...until tomorrow! We're pulling up our sails and setting anchor for the night.

Pizza! Pizza!

Does that make you think of Little Caesar's Pizza?? More proof of the power of advertising because I haven't heard that commercial in years, but it's still the first thing I think of when thinking "pizza" ...that blasted TV ad! Even though I haven't seen a Little Caesar's for years, and I'm more devoted to Cici's and Papa John's, though Godfather's is my favorite of all time, I still give a quick PIZZA! PIZZA! at the mention of finding some for dinner. The kids just think I'm making it up. :-D

What food commercial do you remember well or tend to relive/sing/act in your head at the mention of a certain food or restaurant??

Veggies

Are finally growing! Look at what is in my garden:







BEANS!!






and

Tomatoes!
(no, you don't need more coffee. B took these-her arms are short and she zoomed too much, lol)







Cukes! This was taken a week ago and the plants are more than triple of this picture with several blooms and small cucumbers coming on now-Woohoo!!



I do have a cute little fence around the garden to guard from wayward toys, balls and the near-blind dog. Hopefully I can also keep out the rabbits and birds and my SON- who picked off a handful of tomato blooms last week "Here momma, flowers from your garden!" AAACCCKKK!!! - I just might end up with something we can eat! :-D

Man, I blew it!

Figures. Nearing the end of the month.
Another NaBloPoMo.
Another month I didn't quite make it.
Blew it smack out of the water yesterday, completely forgot!
Dang!!

Oh well, maybe next time!

As a side note, thinking of giving Wordless Wednesdays a try. Should be easy enough, right??

BAAAHAAAWAAHHHAAAAA!!

Yeah, ok, maybe not!

Fajitas!!

Tried something to venture from our regular dishes tonight. We love tacos, but I usually have to sneak peppers and onions by the kids and I hadn't tried fajitas in a while, so tonight was GO night for FAJITAS!!

Well tonight, we had some awesome ones if I do say so myself!
Fresh chicken sliced into strips seasoned in olive oil and then I added a sweet sliced onion, and sliced green and red peppers, saute'd in olive oil to the side. Then added yummy fajitas seasoning (I cheated on that part) and mixed them all together to finish cooking over low heat. Placed these on soft tortillas then topped them with fresh tomatoes, shredded cheese and a bit of sour cream and wrapped them up!
YUM!!

The only thing I forgot was the refried beans to go with it, but we all ate enough to be stuffed to the gills so I don't think anyone realized it, hehehe. I'll get some refried beans and rice to go with them next time!!

Anyway, it was way better than Taco Hell...or even Don Pablo's or the other small place we use to frequent in SC. Ok, it doesn't take much to be better than Taco Hell unless you are a seriously poor college student and you occasionally can scrape a total of 99 cents from every backback, purse and car cup holder and thank the good Lord that tacos are CHEAP! Been there!! Though I admit the Mexican place in the next town beats anything I've ever had, but they are family owned/run place not a chain restaurant. They make everything right there from scratch! You can watch. Nothing trucked in pre-made or frozen. And they rock!!

But tonight, I ROCK! Or at least I think so from the rousing dinner applause, praise and sparse left overs. :-D

Baseball

"Ha hooo!!! heee he!! ooh hooo ha!!!"

Think a sound resembling the combination of the Marx brothers and PeeWee Herman. Hysterical and almost scary at the same time.

That is what my son presently sounds like. He's practicing--more like learning-- to play catch for the first time with real ball and glove, with Mr. FixIt in the front yard, accompanied by crazy jumps for joy by the almost 5-year-old boy with bulging neck veins as he hoots and hollers around the front yard, cracking up when he throws a wild ball or stops one on the ground. Occasionally he will pout and give a distraught "I can't DO this!!" when one bounces by him. Though a few words of encouragement and a couple demonstrations of "try this way" he's back to the PeeWee deep voice giggle and trying again. So far, he's caught a few, stopped several and only been smacked in the forehead one time. Not bad! He has a heck of an arm and CAN aim pretty well, but he seems to get serious gratification from daddy running like a maniac after throws almost beyond reach. I know for certain they both will sleep VERY, very well tonight!

Now I just need some peanuts and Kracker Jacks while I enjoy the show!

Book contest!

I love blogging--where else to you find so many contests!! Go to this blog Age 30-A Year of Books where Heather has posted a contest for a Mary Higgins Clark signed hardcover giveaway!! HOW COOL!!

I found Heather's book blog because she was listed on the blog roll of Postcards from the Edge for her comment on I Pee in the Wind recent blog! Love this twisted web of wonderful people!

Anywhoooo...go check out the contest and enter! Just don't enter too many times because I really would love to have a shot at winning that book for my mom!! :-D hehehe!!

I guess this post has nothing to do with food, but I had some great pizza from Peppe & Luigi's today at a birthday party! :-D

Feel the island breeze

Trying a Calypso Colada, pineapple coconut.

YUMMY!!

I can almost smell the suntan lotion...

smell the salty air...

After a couple of these I can definitely feel the rolling waves!!

:-D

Food goofs

Goofs, screw ups or just plain stupidity...whatever you call it, I had three of these incidents today.

* I poured my new favorite coffee creamer, Tiramisu, into my Special K Chocolaty Delight. I should have given up right then and gone back to bed.

* In trying to suddenly say something, to the fussing kids, I inhaled half of a half-chewed fish stick into my lungs. Aspirating pre-fried, frozen then toaster oven heated seafood product BURNS in the airway. I hacked a chunk up, but the rest of it apparently stuck to my pipes where they continued to burn and make me kick myself for another hour.

* While making dinner, I was talking to one of my sisters on the phone and Mr. FixIt came through and said loudly, jokingly, "Don't you make her burn my dinner!" We laughed.
Well, I didn't burn it. I almost ruined it. Chicken and kielbasa were on the grill. Green beans steaming in the microwave. Water was boiling for my rice, already seasoned with chicken soup base and other seasonings including teriyaki sauce splashed in for that darkening and deep flavor. I grabbed the container of rice to pour in and started stirring and realized it's growing and "poufing" and thickening like crazy. Holy shit, I put instant potatoes in there! DAMN Sam! Well, I had to put a good bit of milk in there to try and compensate for the chicken soup flavor which of course has good bit of salt...sooo they were only a tad salty, but very flavorful potatoes. Took a bit of doctoring, but I guess that was the only food mistake today that I was able to salvage, but it was the one that ticked me off the most.

Guess what I tried?

Beans...not green ones. Soup beans. I tried some over the weekend while I was in the southern mountains of WV with Papa on his yearly trip. Soup beans. Really. No lie. I didn't gag, or pass out, or puke, or die. They were pretty good even!! I love green beans, really love chili beans, and I've even enjoyed baked beans over the past 10 years, but just the smell of soup beans usually makes me cringe. I do love cornbread _I make pretty dang good cornbread_ so I can handle that part when Mr. FixIt or Papa get a hankerin' for a pot of beans. At a homecoming church gathering this weekend, one of the ladies had beans and Papa was saying, "You get those beans. You get some of them beans." So I did. I tried them. Even had strings of cabbage and cut of sausage. They weren't half bad. I probably had two big spoonfuls and I ate them all. Papa was shocked. Papa is always harassing us kids, and now our kids, with "You need some soup beans, cornbread and a BIG onion! That's what you need! It'll make your hair curly!" Well, with Papa, anything we didn't want to eat, he said would make our hair curly. He torments our kids with this line as well. It still cracks me up to hear that.

Maybe this weekend I'll pull the soup bone out of the freezer and soak some beans, whip up a batch of cornbread. I'll have to call Papa and let him know... but I'll pass on the big onion.

Grandpa's Teeth

If you know my dad, you know he can be completely obnoxious, loud-mouthed and disgusting. The older he gets, the worse he gets and sometimes, as much as we love him, he is hard to be around. Meal time is the worst. I mean look at this:

That's a man on a mission, pork tenderloin the size of a house cat in hand. Would you want to sit across from this man while he woofs that down?? That's his best bud sitting "beside" him in the choice spot. Sorry D, I didn't take time to fuzz out your face...I'm on a time crunch here...so the world knows who you hang with. Sorry about your luck!


Most of Dad's mealtime problem is due to his teeth or lack of which drives my middle sister the dental hygienist absolutely bonkers! (note, no teeth in above pic) Due to head injuries, smoking, rubbing snuff and lots of indulgence over the years, dad's teeth literally were falling out of his head. The teeth were hard as rocks, but his gums had become tissue paper and wet tissue paper doesn't hold many rocks! So, over the course of last year he had several painful episodes of having his upper teeth removed, surgery to fix his mouth/bone structure and finally fitting for upper dentures, which still don't fit correctly. (They're in his t-shirt pocket in the above pic- he'd just cleared half a table by yanking them out and trying to pass them around.) First problem with all this teeth business is Dad will "...never get old. I'll out live all of ya!" Second problem Dad constantly reminds us, "You are so lucky you have a daddy this good lookin'!" Third problem--losing teeth and getting dentures signifies he's getting old and defy those first two problems. The fourth problem being he's a major wise ass and pulling his dentures out repeatedly just to screw with everyone makes him really hard to eat dinner with. Especially when we visit because my lovely daughter has a serious gag reflex at the mere thought of something disgusting. She doesn't have to see it. Mention vomit or slobber at the dinner table and your punishment is cleaning up her puke trail from the table to wherever she landed in crumpled heap on the floor. Even Monster Man at 4 years old knows this. Though bizarre side note- gutting and butchering deer does NOT bother her. We can talk blood and guts at the table, just nothing resembling saliva or vomit.

So we are eating dinner at an awesome sea food place, BackBay, while visiting mom and dad in Morgantown. Monster Man was fussing he wanted this, wanted that, wants his food NOW. He's STARVING and can't wait! We adults had been served our delicious crab soups and dad was divvying up bread trying to distract MM. Note that my dad doesn't share food...at all. You'll lose a limb trying to get food from anywhere near his plate, but he was offering bread, crackers, drink of his Bloody Mary, anything to get MM to chill out. MM stopped for a second and you could see the wheels spinnin' in that devious mind. He blurted out very loudly, "Grandpa? I want your......TEETH!! The ones out of YOUR HEAD!"

Oh my lord. We almost lost B right there. Just at the thought he might pull those teeth out. She'd only had a few sips of her juice and some crackers by this point, but she was turning three shades of green. Mom and I choked in surprise and laughter, tried not to waste that amazing soup by sputtering it across the table. Dad near lost his drink, asking, "What the hell did he say?!" Monster man squealed in delight that he'd made us all laugh and poor B hung her head between her knees and tried to keep her toenails from coming up through her esophagus. After mom slapped dad for reaching for his teeth, since he didn't notice B was almost a casualty, things settled. B's color evened out, and we all enjoyed our dinner. Though not without a few giggles and perplexed head shaking.

You never know what that boy will say.

How many days

are left in this blog?

I've talked so much food,

My head's in a fog.

Frazzled, fatigued and stumped

I think I'm officially in a slump!

Why can't I come up with new matter?

I think my readers are screaming "next batter!"

I know I can do this the whole month thru

If only I had some ideas anew!

Red, ripe and juicy

Watermelon, of course!

No food signifies summertime like fresh juicy watermelon, dripping from your chin and streaking down to your elbows. I mean on the kids... yeah, the kids are messy _wink, wink_.

Think of the napkin-needed potential of even this small bowl:



Just screams juicy and messy doesn't it?!


Almost as much as Popsicles at the lake:



Ahhhh, summertime.

Like it loud?

If so, you'd like NHRA racing! Or as our kids call it, "cars that shoot fire!" There is nothing like thunderous sound and rumbling ground beneath your feet when the AA alcohol dragsters and Top Fuel funny cars head down the track. WOW! Monster man's first race he asked Mr. FixIt, "Daddy, why is the world shaking?!" :-D A Screamin' Eagle Harley doing a quarter mile in about 7 seconds makes my knees weak... Yes, we like drag racing!




The kids had never shown the interest in Nascar as Mr. FixIt hoped, despite B watching her very first race, THE Daytona 500, at barely a week old, right in daddy's arms. He tried so hard to share his love of Earnhardt and Dale Jr. with the kids. They know who some of the drivers are, but don't plan on them watching a race going in circles. Ironically, over the past two years both kids have acquired a serious addiction to drag racing! They watch it all, even both days, all rounds of qualifying, not just the finals. I think if they could find the keys to the lawn tractor, they'd be baiting the neighbors to drag on our street! They are a tad redneck like that. Considering Mr. FixIt rigged the throttle to go full bore at the pull of a cord so our lawn tractor can pops wheelies. Yes, they get redneck honestly.


Mr. FixIt's fav driver is John Force, and I do say he kind of reminds me of my dad, but a nicer version of my dad. The kids cheer for John and Ashley Force, but they love them all! Monster Man had his picture taken with Greg Anderson last year. B got John Force and Melanie Troxel's autographs last year, and she chomped at the bit all day in Norwalk to make return trips to the pits for more chances. Though the weather was nice, the track wasn't cooperative while we were there. We did more waiting than watching since only a few classes of cars and I think first round of motorcycles ran before the track started seeping water which ended up canceling the rest of the qualifying for that day. Oh well. It happens. We did have a great family day!

Ashely Force's car in the staging area.


Safety Safari guys asked the kids if they wanted to check out the truck and get some pics. We talked to them for a bit, really nice group! They rock!
I unfortunately did not get a pic of John Force near running over my foot with his little scooter. Dang. But he did nod and wink a "hello" to me! That counts for something doesn't it?! Well unless it was a nod of "damn heifer, you're blocking my path!" I'll vote for hello.

The day ended with fireworks. So even if the kids didn't get to see much racing, they did get an awesome fireworks show! Yes, B still has her hearing protection on. She never has liked firework noise, just the pretty lights!



Oh, about the only thing this post has to do with food is like at most sporting events the food is outrageously expensive, but OOOOHHHH so good! I drooled over pretzels and funnel cakes and huge slices of cheese-dripping pizza. We had packed a cooler for drinks and sandwiches so had our nice cheap lunch under the canopy tent that afternoon. I did splurge $5 on a large sweet tea! Oh yeah! Don't get that everywhere in uh-HI-ya. Had to take advantage of that one. :-D

Can't wait until next race. Night Under Fire here we come!

Strawberry Fields Forever

In my previous summer dessert post, I mentioned Boone Hall Plantation on the SC coast and strawberry picking. Here are some pics of those fun days in the glorious sunshine!


Keep in mind these were taken in mid-April in SC. Which really depresses me that we still have snow and gloomy skies here in April. Ugh.

My two munchkins LOVE, love, LOVE strawberries and it was hard to keep them from eating half of what they were picking. Especially Monster Man. See here:


I don't have any pictures of their faces. They were always too busy picking and MM eating to look at me!

Even more difficult than a decent picture was to get him to understand that a basket full of one-bite-tested strawberries will a) get us in trouble, b) make us end up with bug-filled, half-rotted basket by the time we got home! I was always bracing myself fearing they'd approach me and question how many my son ate while picking. I figure if they had anyone watching the crops with binoculars...my boy was the target of suspicion...big guilty, filled-to-the-gills smile, red juicy drizzle down his chin and shirt, red-tainted smears up both arms from continuous wiping of chin drizzle. Not pretty. I know each visit he had to have consumed near a quart on his own before we even made it to the "picking spot."

I love fresh orchard picking and remember going with my Grandma H to Cherry's Orchard in right down a windy road from our hometown as a kid. She would occasionally test or let one of us test a fruit before picking more, but we didn't dare even THINK about eating anything before we paid otherwise. She'd have switched our butts right there and not let us ever come back. Also I'm sure part of the reason being she had intentions of jellies, jams and pies from the fruits we picked, and I know the battle with my two in "if you don't stay out of those, I won't have enough for _______ (insert desired dessert)!" Grandma does make some awesome jam!

I think next trip home, I'm going to have to take the kids for a visit to Cherry's. Must make mental note to pack the straight jackets and duct tape!

Uncle Bob's

One of my favorite restaurants is a breakfast place. One you've probably seen. If you live in Ohio or surrounding states, I'm sure you've been there at least once if not 100 times. Even though this place is my favorite, right in line with a good Japanese steakhouse, we usually don't go "out" for breakfast because I have to eat first thing in the morning. Within 10 minutes of waking up or my stomach plays evil war games with my intestines for the remainder of the day, and sometimes they drag the torture to the next. When we do make plans for a breakfast out (after I've had a granola bar or half a pop tart to calm my beastly gastrointestinal system) my A#1 favorite place of all time is Uncle Bob's. Yes, "down on the farm" Bob Evans, though we've called it Uncle Bob's for years. Whatever you call it- I say YUM! I usually stick to my "regular" country biscuit breakfast (without the hashbrowns, I can't eat all that), the strawberry banana stacked and stuffed hotcakes are like dessert for breakfast!! LOVE those! Truthfully though I can't eat all that either, I usually split an order with Monster Man or Mr. FixIt will help. Uncle Bob's is one reason I was glad to move back to o-HI-o, they are plentiful here because of their start in SE Ohio..woohooo!! For years, I was seriously Uncle Bob deprived in SC. They just didn't have any. One was landed in SC a year before we moved but it was a 2-hour drive away...bummer. They have IHOP all over down south which is ok, but is more like IHOPE not compared to Bob's place!

Ok for my mother...they do have really great salads. Yes, I like salad -as long as it has good "stuff" on it. Oh not like cheese, I can skip the cheese, but stuff like eggs, ham, bacon, lots of maters, cukes, more eggs and grilled chicken with good ranch dressing. Yeah. that's a salad. (My mom just choked on her Splenda tea somewhere.)

No real point to this post I guess. I just like an amazing breakfast and it has to be to get me out of the house to go get it!! I won't risk War of the GI system for anything else!

Normal days I eat cereal or oatmeal, sometimes French toast. Normal breakfast-type material. Oh,don't forget the half pot of coffee and too much creamer. I can't do the cold pizza or chips or left overs like Mr. FixIt can or cookies and straight up Hershey bars that my sister does more often than not. I love chocolate, but I can't do that shit that early!

What do you eat for breakfast??

Watch your kids!

This post has two parts, both relating to food, just bear with me at first.

If you know me IRL or have visited myspace page, you know I have snakes. I started keeping snakes originally as classroom pets when I was teaching. The details about the snakes will have to be another post for another day. Anyway, almost 10 years later, I still have my first snake, a corn snake, Cornelius aka Corny, now almost 6 feet long, and B has a young ball python, just under 2 feet. They are due to eat this week so after I dropped B off at dance, Monster Man and I headed for the small family owned pet and reptile shop to get snake food. (yes, it's mice and rats if you have to know). That's part one of the food post.

Part two: In the pet shop, they have a big sign written on bright yellow paper and bold letters just inside the door that always cracks me up. I know it has circulated in email for a while, but I love it no matter how many times I see it:

"Unattended children
will be given a large cappuccino
and a free kitten."

Seeing that sign makes me giggle like an idiot every visit. Of course, Monster Man is only allowed to enter a store in secured straight jacket and a short leash. But for normal kids, you know, the thought is just hysterical!

Just humor me and laugh, ok? Thanks.

Dinner anyone?

I am feeling a bit bummed in the dinner department lately. What to have?? Same ole stuff? Try something new?? I've fallen off my "think up dinner ideas for a week" wagon. Even if I didn't make an actual list right then of what I had on hand/wanted/needed, but just a general idea of at least a main dish and a few sides/veggies so I wouldn't have to think about dinner for several days at a time. That wagon is loooooooong gone. Kind of like the "gonna get on the elliptical every day" wagon. Ugh.

I have a couple of decent cookbooks, but really don't care to look in them. Well, except maybe 10 minutes before I need to start dinner, and then I'm always missing at least one ingredient I can't do without. I have a R@chel Ray Easy 30- and 60-minute meals book. EASY??! She's either smokin' cheap crack or she is seriously spoiled! I don't even know why I bought the damn book- ok, wait I do know, I got it like 75% off-- because her squeaky, raspy voice spikes my gag reflex and makes me want to knock some wind into her lungs. Drives me batty. Back to the book...most of her recipes in this book have at least two if not three hard-to-find or seriously expensive ingredients. Does she thinks we keep all that stuff on hand?? Or have enough money to go get that stuff for every meal?? (return to crack/spoiled comment) Ugh. Double Ugh. And throw a gag in there for good measure.

I just remembered!! Kandace aka- One Crazy Chick- had a recipe contest/post a couple months ago!! Wooohooo! OH! And Pioneer Woman has a whole food section! YAY!

Further proof that blogging does not waste time- it has a distinct purpose. Thankfully this week's purpose is to bring dinner back to life!! Yeee-haaww!!!

Post pics

I am such a ding dong....I realized today that I have not posted any pictures of my food topics!
At least for this month anyway. I did post apple and peach pie pics made Father's Day weekend, but I guess they don't count.

I don't keep Pepto-Bismol because we're a Kaopectate kind of family. Mon probably has some right now, though it's probably boiling in her van in the heat, and she might not want her Pepto photographed then viewed by millions of readers. Ok, four readers.

The summer fruit dessert is GONE so no pics of that unless I make it again before the month is out.

S'mores. Ditto. Google the word or use your imagination because if I buy any more of that crap, I'll need an 8-man tent to cover my ass.

I don't have any pics of fried mushrooms from 25 years ago. Sorry.

I did take a picture of the near empty wine bottle from the "Winding Down" post. Maybe I'll work on uploading that picture... like tomorrow!! :-D

Nighty nite!!

Pepto's gotta go!

Like the color?

Had to change

Didn't feel like lookin'

at Pepto today!

More s'mores!!

I could write about the awesome grilled catfish Mr. FixIt made tonight for dinner or the yummy sweet potato casserole that had the kids licking their plates clean....but no, I'm gonna give homage to the awesome melted milk chocolate and marshmallow delight we all know as s'mores! I haven't made s'mores for years and have put the kids off making them a few times thinking of the mess and goo even though we have a fire pit and Mr. Pyro...er, I mean FixIt has fires regularly for the kids to burn sticks or make hot dogs, etc. My middle sister came to visit last weekend, and she suggested we get stuff for s'mores. She left...s'mores stuff still here and you know Hershey bars aren't gonna last long around my house. So in the pouring rain, we made s'mores. In the toaster oven- had ya for a sec, eh?! Ok, there is a reason I've probably never thought of fixing them under the broiler of the toaster oven...tooo, tooo freakin' easy!! I will end up at s'mores anonymous meetings before the month is over. I'd forgotten how incredibly melt-y chocolaty awesome these things are, I don't care how messy! If it weren't for burning my hands, I'd not even waste time with the graham cracker! Forget the brownie batter, hand over the chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows and clear a path to the toaster oven!!

Summer Fruit Dessert

I've been making this easy dessert for the Fourth of July holiday for several years. It's a decently easy layered desert and can be eaten warm right after you put it together or cold after chilling in the fridge. I'll give you both the long, really awesome, have a couple hours in the kitchen knock-your-socks off version and the really speedy quick but still yummy version at the end. ENJOY!

Knock-Your-Socks-off Version
I like to make the cakes and get the strawberries and blueberries freshly picked if possible. We were regulars at Boone Hall Plantation's strawberry fields many times every summer in South Carolina so we always had strawberries on hand for this yummy dish.

Ingredients
Old Fashioned Pound Cake
Two packages vanilla cook & serve pudding mix
(or Watkins Dessert Mix -double the pudding recipe)
Milk (for pudding mix)
Fresh strawberries (two 1-lb pkgs from store)
2 slightly green bananas (easier to cut)
Fresh blueberries (one small pack)
1 Fresh Kiwi
Few tablespoons sugar or Splenda
Whipped topping

Prepare the pound cake first. While that is baking, cut/quarter the strawberries in a bowl, sprinkle a tablespoon or so of sugar or Splenda on top, then mix gently. Cover and place in the fridge to chill.

After pound cake is done, set it aside to cool and prepare the pudding according to package directions. Set pudding aside to cool. (Pudding doesn't need to be cold-set because you will need to pour it, but it does need to be cool enough you don't break/crack/melt the container you will put the dessert in.)

After pudding and cake have cooled a bit, tear chunks of cake into bite-size pieces and use to cover the bottom of a trifle dish (or other deep bowl/dish), pour about 1/3 of the pudding over the cake pieces, just enough to cover. Cut a banana to thin slices to layer over the pudding. Then layer the strawberries over the bananas. I use about a half a banana and probably 1-1/2 cups of strawberries per layer. Sprinkle a few blueberries on top of those. Then repeat the layers two more times: cake, pudding, fruit. I usually have a little cake and pudding left so I do a small 4th layer on the top center with just a few pieces of fruit to decorate. Peel the kiwi and cut some slices to decorate around the top and one or two wedges in the center. Refrigerate until chilled to serve. Dollop some whipped topping between the kiwi slices before serving or individually on bowl as you serve.

Easy Peasy Cheater Version
The super speedy but still tastes great way is to use store-bought pound cakes (Sara Lee is good) or an angel food cake, a large container of vanilla pudding or vanilla yogurt, bagged frozen quartered strawberries (or the mixed fruit bag if you can find one with strawberries, blueberries and even peaches too). If you set the frozen fruit out just before you start working, it should be pretty well thawed after you get the whole thing together. Layer ingredients as stated above. You can also leave out the blueberries and kiwi and it still is an awesome, none-left-over dessert!

ENJOY!!

Winding down

Whole house is quiet, even the dog is asleep.

Random fireworks being set off in the neighborhood.

George Carlin (RIP man) "It's Bad For Ya" making me laugh my ass off.

A glass of Raven's Glenn Raven Rouge wine all to myself.

Aaaahhhhhhh- finally!!

Shrroooms

While slicing some fresh mushrooms to saute for dinner, I had a memory of a food I have not eaten in years...I mean YEARS. Freshly gathered fried mushrooms. YUM.

Remember mushroom huntin'? Late April, I think? I only went on a few hunts when I was little but I enjoyed helping to fry them no matter who brought them home! Mushrooms have a very rich smell when they are being fried and man are they yummy! We use to have gatherings at my aunts house just to fry and eat mushrooms and most everyone would be near sick from indulgence!

What foods do you remember from your childhood??

July NaBloPoMo

Food, food, food!! How many post ideas can this topic generate?? Bazillion is my latest fav number word so I'll use that. A bazillion different foods I can discuss, easy recipes I can share with you, junky foods that I don't buy so I won't eat them, a landslide of foods that my kids wouldn't touch if you laced them with a million bucks, and on and on!! Wow! Endless blog potential...and I only need 31! Woohoo!! This should be E A S Y!

Whoa. Hold that thought. Food?? I only have to look at food and the calories and carbs morph instantaneously to my butt...what will happen writing about it?? Every day. For a month. Oh man.

Maybe I should rethink this...